Leading Without the Mask: A Self-Compassion Practice for Impostor Syndrome
By Salem Islas-Madlo
I had the honour to participate in a transformative course on Shame with Chris Germer, one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion. Through exercises, reflections, and group discussions, we explored how shame shows up in everyday life—its origins, its emotional backdraft, and most importantly, how to transform it. One of the most powerful insights? Shame and impostor syndrome are deeply connected. Both whisper: You’re not enough. You don’t belong here. You’ll be found out.
But what if we could meet those whispers with kindness instead of self-criticism?
An Exercise: The Impostor Syndrome Inventory
Try this practice to explore how shame-based self-doubt might be showing up in your leadership.
1. Notice the Trigger
Think of a recent situation where you felt like an impostor—perhaps before a big presentation, after receiving praise, or when stepping into a new role.
- What physical sensations arose? (Tightness in the chest? A pit in the stomach?)
- What thoughts appeared? (“I don’t deserve this.” “They’ll realize I’m a fraud.”)
- What emotions surfaced? (Fear? Shame? Anxiety?)
From the Course: This mirrors our work on awareness of shame in everyday life and identifying where shame comes from and how it impacts us emotionally. Impostor syndrome often stems from the same roots as shame: childhood messages, cultural expectations, or personal experiences of not being “enough.”
Leadership Skill: Emotional Intelligence – The ability to recognize and name these feelings before they hijack your confidence or decision-making.
2. Explore the Origins
Ask yourself:
- When did I first feel this way? Can I trace it back to a specific experience?
- What did I learn about my worth from that moment?
- How does this old story show up in my leadership today?
From the Course: We explored childhood experiences and what we learned from them, as well as the origins of shame. Often, impostor feelings are echoes of messages we internalized long ago—messages that no longer serve us.
Leadership Skill: Self-Awareness – Understanding the roots of your self-doubt helps you separate past conditioning from present reality, allowing you to lead from authenticity rather than fear.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Place a hand on your heart and say to yourself:
- “This feeling is hard right now.”
- “I’m not alone in this—many leaders feel this way.”
- “May I be kind to myself in this moment.”
From the Course: One of the most valuable lessons was deepening the quality of self-compassion when facing feelings of inadequacy and failure. Self-compassion doesn’t mean ignoring the discomfort; it means meeting it with warmth instead of criticism.
Leadership Skill: Resilience – Self-compassionate leaders recover faster from setbacks, take healthier risks, and create cultures where others feel safe to do the same.
4. Connect to Your Core Values
Write down 3-5 core values that define who you are as a leader (e.g., integrity, curiosity, service).
- How does impostor syndrome pull you away from these values?
- What would it look like to lead from these values, even when self-doubt arises?
From the Course: We explored shame and core values, and how clarifying core values helps bring us more into authenticity. When you anchor in your values, the voice of the impostor loses its power.
Leadership Skill: Authentic Leadership – Leading from your values rather than fear of exposure creates trust and alignment within your team.
5. Imagine Leading Without Shame
Close your eyes and visualize:
- A day in your leadership where shame has no influence.
- How do you make decisions differently?
- How do you interact with your team?
- What becomes possible when you’re not energy drained by self-doubt?
From the Course: We did exercises on exploring if shame were no longer a part of our lives and what we would like to remember from this experience. This imagination is the first step toward transformation.
Leadership Skill: Visionary Thinking – Envisioning a shame-free leadership style helps you move toward it, one self-compassionate choice at a time.
Why This Matters for Leaders
Impostor syndrome doesn’t just affect our confidence—it shapes our decisions, our relationships, and our impact. The course taught me that self-forgiveness and self-compassion are not indulgences; they’re necessities for sustainable leadership.
When we stop fighting the impostor feelings and start meeting them with curiosity and kindness, we:
- Make clearer decisions (unclouded by fear of being “found out”),
- Build more authentic relationships (when we stop hiding, others feel safe to do the same),
- Create cultures of belonging (where people can bring their whole selves to work).
The next time impostor syndrome shows up, try this: Pause. Place a hand on your heart. Remind yourself: I am enough, not because I’m perfect, but because I’m human. And then ask: What would love do here?
How might your leadership change if you met self-doubt with kindness instead of criticism?